The Christmas Tree Story

What would we ever do without Christmas tree recycling?? When I was a kid I lived in a county that provided tree pick up and we would just leave the tree out for the trash. So in January there were five of us in Paul’s LTD cruising around on an icy Saturday night at 11PM or so and we happened on a HUGE tree out by the sidewalk. What I mean by huge is that this tree was 14 or 15 feet tall and about 9 feet wide at the base. We drove by the tree several times as we attempted to figure out what we would do with this massive conifer. Paul mentioned that he had an old ski rope in the trunk. So the idea of Christmas tree surfing was born. We tied the tree to the 50 foot rope and the rope to the trailer hitch on the LTD. Now the question was who was going to “ride” the tree. Shay stepped up to the plate and took his position on the tree. For reasons I can not recall I was not happy with Shay at all and he was going to receive quite a ride behind the LTD as I was driving that night as was usually the case. So off we go slowly at first. I have a unique view through the rear view mirror as I can see the expression on his face as we passed under the street lights. So we drive down Kings Point Dr. at about 30 miles per hour and as we make a sweeping left I notice Shay in the right mirror cascading through a puddle of slush with water spewing in his face. He dare not let go. I was going to make sure he let go. Once we get to East Kings Point Circle I hang a hard left….a drifting left to be exact. Now, as I counter steer , Shay passes from the rear view mirror to the right mirror and to the right window parallel with the car. As I accelerated out of the slide Shay passed through some bushes and the rope caught on a telephone pole. This ended his ride quite quickly, 1 down 3 to go. Next was Paul. His ride was quite uneventful, about 30 miles per hour was fine for him for about 30 seconds. Once Paul started waving his arms I figured he was done. Next was Kevin. Kevin was the biggest and heaviest out of the group. He saddled up and off we went down East Kings Point. We got about 100 yards down the road and the rope broke under his weight. We decided it would be a god idea to double up the rope which worked well. As we re-tied the rope Kevin found a Santa hat and donned it promptly. So off we go again and we happen to take a right on Huntington Circle and pass by a party with probably 30 or so people outside. Imagine their thoughts when they see the LTD with a discarded Christmas tree dragging behind it and Kevin with a Santa hat on screaming “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!!!!!” So after a couple of laps with Kevin’s weight the tree was starting to wear out. Next up was Jim. Jim is by far the most “careful” of the group. He gave me specific instructions not to go over 20. Once we were on our way we were on East Kings Point once again and I thought I hear Jim yelling “Go!! Go!!!” I asked Paul and he confirmed my thought so I stood on it. I think we got Jim up to 55 or so before I looked in the mirror and saw the look of fear in his eyes. We were running out of road so I stopped the car and we assessed Jim’s condition. We practically had to peel him off of that tree. The rides were over and this life risking venture came to a close. The tree was reduced to about half its girth and we left it at the house that we took it from. I wonder if they noticed…..